When Resilience Isn’t a Rodeo

Resilience isn't a rodeo, and please, stop treating it like one. That includes me, Linda, the recovering perfectionist. What about you?

It's not about bouncing back in record time or powering through every challenge with gritted teeth.

Sustainable strength (the kind that fuels better decisions, creativity, and long-term growth) takes more than an 8-second ride.

In workplaces today, resilience often gets framed as toughness or grit. But here's the truth: resilience isn't about how fast you recover. It's about building the systems, strategies, and cultures that allow you (and your team) to thrive through challenges, not just survive them.

The Cost of the Resilience Rodeo

The myth of the unbreakable leader is everywhere, and it's breaking us.

Late-night heroics? What are you losing creatively, strategically, or sustainably because of that time crunch? Sometimes they're necessary, but really consider your role.

Powering through? Guess what? You learn to ignore your own needs. Ask your therapist about this before someone needs to tell you about it. Ask me how I know this.

Rushing to bounce back? Research suggests rushing to bounce back reduces your ability to learn from the experience. Stop leaving your CURRENT experience to brace for the next.

When we perform resilience instead of practicing it, the cost is high: burnout, poor decision-making, and stalled innovation.

How about some examples? Can you spot any of these in yourself or others, your teams, your cultures?

Individual Behaviors

🆘 Tough Act: Saying, "I'm fine" or brushing off challenges when clearly struggling.

🆘 Hiding Struggles: Avoiding help or downplaying setbacks to "prove" capability.

🆘 Ignoring Recovery: Skipping breaks, meals, or time off after big challenges.

🆘 Performative Positivity: Dismissing real issues with, "It's all fine" or toxic optimism.

🆘 Overloading: Taking on extra work right after a setback to signal "resilience."

Team Behaviors

🆘 Hero Worship: Celebrating all-nighter crisis solutions over thoughtful planning.

🆘 Avoiding Reflection: Skipping debriefs or tough conversations after failures.

🆘 Business as Usual: Pushing for normal productivity immediately after setbacks.

🆘 Performative Wellness Efforts: One-off resilience workshops without systemic change. Also known as, "Why don't you just go to yoga?"

Culture Behaviors

🆘 Bounce-Back Stories: Praising quick recoveries without acknowledging the cost.

🆘 Punishing Vulnerability: Criticizing those who ask for time or support.

🆘 Equating Hustle with Strength: Treating overwork as a measure of resilience.

🆘 Celebrating Speed Over Sustainability: Prioritizing rapid results over long-term growth.

What Real Resilience Looks Like

Forget the rodeo star. Think skilled gardener.

Real resilience isn't about wrestling challenges to the ground. It's about creating the conditions for sustainable strength to grow.

For You

Resilience starts by knowing your limits and protecting your capacity. Start small:

✅ Create recovery rituals: A quick walk, journaling one lesson learned, or even a deep breath before meetings.

✅ Build your "resilience board": Surround yourself with trusted colleagues or mentors who offer perspective and support.

✅ Discover your energy patterns: Pay attention to when you're most focused or creative, and plan key tasks during that time. My own surprise this year? I'm creative at night. Now, I make intentional space to write after sundown.

Statements to Try:

• "I need a moment to prioritize before diving in."

• "What's one thing I can let go of today to focus on what matters most?"

For Teams

Resilient teams thrive by adapting and supporting one another. Here's how:

✅ Shift the story: Celebrate thoughtful wins over late-night heroics. Recovery-focused teams perform better. Brute strength and adrenalin can only carry you for a limited period of time.

✅ Normalize reflection: Pause for questions like:

• "What's missing in our understanding of this challenge?"

• "What assumptions are we making?"

✅ Make recovery safe: Encourage statements like, "I need to think this through," without judgment.

Behaviors to Model and Encourage:

• Asking thoughtful questions instead of rushing solutions

• Open discussions about capacity and workload

• Recognizing steady progress over quick, reactive wins

For Cultures

Resilient organizations align processes and values with sustainable practices. Build that alignment by:

✅ Auditing celebrations: Are you rewarding thoughtful decision-making, or toughness at any cost?

✅ Embedding recovery spaces: Quiet rooms, focus blocks, or simply encouraging unplugged breaks like lunch hours.

✅ Leveraging benefits: Partner with your EAP and wellness providers for resilience training. Then normalize their use: "Our EAP has resilience workshops; I'd encourage everyone to check them out." "Here's a resource I found helpful. Let's discuss it as a team." We know folks are suspicious of their EAP. Normalize it, talk about it.

Questions to Guide Cultural Growth:

• "What does resilience mean for us as an organization?"

• "Are we making space for recovery and growth, or just expecting constant performance?"

• "How are we modeling sustainable strength in leadership?"

The Practice vs. The Performance

True resilience grows in spaces where:

• People don't have to pretend they're fine

• Recovery isn't timed with a stopwatch

• Learning curves are respected

• Strength is a collective, not an individual, achievement (read that again: collective)

Resilience isn't the gap between failure and fine. It's the soil where success takes root. And it's time we started treating it that way.

Your Next Move

Resilience isn't a rodeo. It's not a race. It's the foundation that makes innovation, adaptability, and growth possible.

Here's one way to start: Pick one place (yourself, your team, or your culture) where "resilience as performance" shows up. What can you replace with something sustainable?

Ready to build sustainable resilience? Follow me, Linda Clark, for more on feral leadership, creating cultures where people thrive (not just survive), and building strength that lasts. Or book a call and let's talk about what real resilience looks like in your organization.